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Posts Tagged ‘shy’

  1. Speak up, you petty, arrogant wanker

    May 24, 2013 by superlative

    Blog every day in May topic – Your top three worst traits

    1) Shyness

    I’ve already covered this in some of my other May posts, but I am quiet and I am shy. It’s worse in certain situations, and I’m less shy than a lot of people, but it still has a negative effect on the way I interact with people sometimes. I wish I could change it, and I have improved over time I think, but really it’s just me and I’m just stuck with it.  It’s quite annoying though.

    2) Pettiness

    I am a very, very petty, small little man sometimes. I bear a grudge like nobody’s business, and I exact revenge on people I don’t like in a number of tiny, pointless little ways. I once put olive oil in someone’s honey at university. I also threw a banana belonging to that person out onto a flat roof. Not while they were around, of course, but behind their back – I’m not mental.

    If I don’t like someone at work, I might glare at their empty chair as I walk past it.

    If someone is moving too slowly down the street, I do that spaz face where you stick your tongue down behind your lower lip at the back of their head.

    It’s always pathetic little expressions of my disgust that the person won’t ever know about. Well, she might have noticed the honey tasted weird. But I don’t in fact want to change this about myself – I get a tiny, petty thrill out of these stupid wastes of my time.

    3) Arrogance

    I’m quite clever. I’ve always been more intelligent than most of my peers, and I like it. I tend therefore to think that I’m right practically all the time, and it sticks in my craw if someone points out that I’m wrong about something. I realise that it’s arrogant to assume that you know more than someone else, but to be honest I usually do. So what am I meant to do? Let them prattle on wrongly, using up valuable seconds of my life with their wrongness? I don’t think that’s reasonable.

    So I don’t mind that I’m arrogant really. I hide it fairly well most of the time, and being quiet masks some of it, so I don’t think I have a poor reputation for arrogance. But it does mean that I have to expect to get violently bumped onto my arse every so often when someone swans along knowing more about a topic than I do. The know-it-all bastards.


  2. Things that make you go HURK

    May 3, 2013 by superlative

    Blog every day in May topic – Things that make you uncomfortable

    Lots of things make me uncomfortable. I suppose there are many more things that make me annoyed – my resting state seems to be ‘slightly annoyed’ – but there are quite a few things that make me uncomfortable as well. Often it’s a bit of both, as there are times when I’m uncomfortable about something but too polite or inhibited to say or do anything about it.

    Here are a few things anyway:

    Being called quiet
    I am quite a quiet, shy person. I’m particularly bad in social situations if I don’t know the people around me very well, and much more so if I really want them to like me. Which is a bit unhelpful of my brain, as you generally need to talk to people to get them to like you, unless they’re interviewing for a Mute or something.

    But what makes me much, much, MUCH worse  is if someone says ‘You’re quiet, aren’t you?’

    Or ‘Why are you so quiet?’

    Or, and this is the worst one and I’ve actually had this said to me, ‘You’re quiet. I don’t like quiet people.’

    Well fuck you, bitch! I’m sorry if I’m not a gobby trout in a stupid jumper like you, but I’m SHY. (she actually did have a stupid jumper on in this instance, that’s not just an example)

    So yeah, being called quiet makes me very uncomfortable and causes me to clam up completely. It makes me very self conscious, and I always think ‘Yes I know I’m quiet – why would I need you to tell me? In what world did you think this would encourage me to talk?’

    People kissing their partners
    I don’t mean people giving their partner a quick kiss, or a peck hello, or a thank you kiss, or anything brief like that. I mean people snogging their partners on the mouth for more than a few seconds when they’re in a social situation like in a pub or in my living room. This happens particularly when they’ve just started going out and are still all loved up about it.

    It’s RUDE. There are other people in the room, they were speaking to you just a moment ago, and now you’re sucking each others’ faces. Where am I supposed to look while you’re doing that? I can’t look AT you, that’s weird. Am I supposed to look away? Do I pretend I haven’t noticed? Presumably I can’t ask you a question or anything or interrupt you. Should we talk amongst ourselves? How long are you going to be? Are you snogging for my benefit, to let me know you’re in a relationship and you’re soooooo happy and in love with your ‘babe’? I DON’T GET IT. I don’t know what to do with myself when this happens. Stop that. Stop it right now.

    Running for the bus with an audience
    Sometimes when you’re approaching the bus stop, you can see that a bus is there but you can’t quite tell which bus it is. There are people at the stop, or hanging around generally, and I can never decide if I should run or not. There’s something weird about an adult running in the street if they’re not wearing a jogging outfit. It makes people look at you. ‘Why are they running?’ they think. It attracts attention. And if you’re running for a bus (a reasonable excuse to be moving at speed), it would be much worse if you were to arrive at the stop and suddenly decide it’s not your bus after all. Do you just stop and look sheepish? Do you KEEP running and pretend you were heading for something else? You could end up anywhere. And if it is your bus and you miss it, you have to make some theatrical show of annoyance so everyone knows you were running for that bus and now you’ve missed it and it’s annoying. So that moment, when the bus is there and my knee jerks forwards as I go to run and then I think wait do I want to run for this there are people over there and they’ll see me and what if it’s not the right bus and what if it drives away and what if the bus driver isn’t even on the bus because he’s on a break and I get there and can’t get on, THAT moment of indecision makes me uncomfortable.