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Posts Tagged ‘Eurovision’

  1. Eurovision 2011

    May 20, 2011 by superlative

    We had our annual Eurovision party last weekend and I haven’t got around to blogging about it yet, so here you go.

    It wasn’t the best Eurovision party we’ve ever had, I think in part due to the poor quality of lots of the entrants but also because we invited some different people this time so Chris could have some of his friends from his new job over. And unfortunately, not all of them understood exactly how seriously we (I) take Eurovision – in particular comments such as “This programme is shit” and generally talking all the way through the songs were not appreciated. You would have thought, based on the amount of props and room decoration that we go to the trouble of creating, people would guess that we actually want to watch the competition. I mean our front door for a start should have been a bit of a clue.

    Apologies for Jedwards’ chillingly dead eyes. The boys can’t help it, they’re just dead inside.

    Anyway, I shan’t dwell on the negatives.

    Some of this year’s entries I thought were really really good, particularly Hungary and Sweden. Here’s Hungary, in case you haven’t heard it, which I have been listening to near enough on loop since Saturday.

    I absolutely love it! And Eric Saade from Sweden was quite fit too, so he also did well on my scoresheet.

    Unfortunately neither of those won, and we ended up with Azerbaijan. “Where the fuck is Azerbaijan?” I hear you cry. Well I shan’t tell you, because no one cares and it doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t remember how their song went and I haven’t bothered to listen to it again. I just remember it was instantly forgettable and really shouldn’t have won.

    I thought our entry from Blue was actually OK and was fairly catchy, but it was simply pitched too high even for Lee Ryan’s girly voice so it didn’t sound great on the night. But if we can’t even win with an internationally famous group like Blue then there really must be no hope for us.

    You can also blame Blue for my continued inability to say where Azerbaijan is. I mean, how exactly is one supposed to look up where inconsequential little Eastern countries are on this map?

    You just can’t look anywhere but at the picture of them in little white pants.

    I’ve never had a thing for Blue AT ALL, but since we’ve had pictures like this up around the house (they’re still up, I refuse to take them down now) I’ve developed quite a crush on Duncan, and I probably wouldn’t say no to Lee after a couple of drinks either.

    So I think Azerbaijan might be one of those little purple countries down near the oh look how naked they are and aren’t they more muscly than you were expecting them to be?

    As with last year, I was disappointed by the complete lack of costume changes in any of the entries. I love a good costume change. I’m told there was possibly one but that I missed it, but frankly if a costume change isn’t so dramatic that it makes everyone go “OH MY GOD SHE’S GOT A DIFFERENT OUTFIT ON!” then I don’t want to hear about it.

    And after last year’s aberration, Chris was back to winning the sweepstake YET AGAIN. People will start thinking we only host the party to defraud them out of pound coins.

    So next year’s show will be in Baku. I shall watch it but I’m not happy about it. The winner each year is becoming more and more Eastern as those countries monopolise the voting, so there hardly seems any point in us entering any more. My only hope of winning the sweepstake now is if I manage to draw China.

  2. Eurovision Revamp

    March 19, 2010 by superlative

    My friend and I have been discussing by email our appalling entry for Eurovision this year (see previous blog post) and what could possibly be done to turn it from Euro Loser into Epic Euro Mind Blowing Winner.

    We have decided that it is possible, but with no small amount of work. The song and singer have been decided, so we can’t change those, but that is only a small part of any Eurovision performance.
    So, here is my friend’s Eurovision Business Plan:

    I have concluded that they need to totally pimp him out, he is going to have to work on his upper body (I think he could have nice shoulders) and wear tighter than tight clothing, basically the dancing girls are going to have to carry him and are going to have to totally work it. An outfit change will be needed. I have listened to the song some more and whilst it is very weak it’s OK. Sort of. But the performance/dancers/staging is going to have to blow it out the water. We need some sort of theme, just to have him will leave NO mark whatsoever, he needs a gimmick to hide his TOTAL blandness….basically ne needs to NOT BE HIM.

    Based on this, I have created the following artist’s impression:

    I think you’ll agree, it’s an absolute DEAD FUCKING CERT. Your Country Needs You organisers, take note: this is the new format for our performance. Get working on it. You have two months and ten days to produce the above.
    Suck on that, FYR Macedonia, you don’t stand a chance. And FYI, FYR is a stupid prefix for a country’s name and we’ve secretly all been laughing at you behind your back.

  3. Your Country Doesn’t Need You

    March 16, 2010 by superlative

    OK, so I’m quite a big Eurovision fan.

    I never used to be, but in the last 10 years or so I have fully embraced it to the point of someone needing to shoot me in the face I get so excited about it. Every year we have a big Eurovision party at our house, and there are home-made little flags and scoresheets and a sweepstake, and all guests are compelled to show excessive enthusiasm, or feign enthusiasm, or get out.
    So, pretty much I don’t think anyone could be more pro-Eurovision than me.
    But what. The. Fuck. What the fuck was that they gave us on Your Country Needs you last Friday?? It was APPALLING.
    First of all, we had half an hour of ‘oo let’s all spunk over Pete Waterman’, which in itself isn’t a particularly attractive image anyway. Admittedly, he has co-written some excellent songs in the 80s and 90s. But take note of that last bit, THE 80s AND 90s . His music has a very particular sound to it, which I enjoy and grew up with, but which is quite dated now.
    And in any case, he hasn’t actually written a new song for us anyway. He’s just smooshed Kids In America and Better The Devil You Know into a single song, which does give it a familiar feel, but also makes you think ‘er, this is a total rip off of something else’. Maybe he’s hoping the foolish Europeans won’t notice.
    But that brings us on to our choice of act. They trotted out six unknowns (well, one of them I knew), who then proceeded to sing Pete Waterman songs out of key and of a quality that would get you three quick Xs on Britain’s Got Talent.
    I really REALLY wanted Miss Fitz to do well, as I remembered them from this year’s X Factor where they’d had an AMAZING first audition. But alas, blame it on the microphones or the acoustics or whatever, they weren’t in key and it sounded terrible.
    So his highness Queen Pete eliminated three acts, although sadly not ‘eliminated’ in the Terminator sense, but in the thank you now get out sense.

    This left us with one boy with a girl’s name (Alexis – WTF? Would you not shorten it to Alex?), one boy with a big face, and girl with a good voice. The girl’s going to win then, we thought.
    But no. Even with only two songs to learn and perform, she somehow managed to forget the lyrics half way though (she could have just made them up, they were quite generic anyway) and the public quite rightly binned her.
    And so now we’re left with Josh from Basildon (Basildon for fuck’s sake) as our Eurovision entry for 2010. He’s got a fucking cravat on on the BBC Eurovision website! What the hell??
    He’ll be singing the instant not-classic That Sounds Good To Me, but I’m afraid it does not sound good to me, or to Europe, or to anyone else.
    It was a disaster, a DISASTER I say. Bring back Michelle Gayle, she kicked ass with the song she wrote for Eurovision and would piss all over “Josh”. I’m picking some other country to support, maybe Switzerland with their entry ‘Il pleut de l’or’, or ‘Golden shower’ in English (my own translation).
    Fuck you, Pete Waterman.

  4. Pop Kraft it Up

    March 8, 2010 by superlative

    I had a fun night out on Saturday at this month’s Pop Kraft. It’s always good there, and seems to be the highlight of my blogging month at the moment. I just haven’t felt like I’ve been doing an awful lot worth writing about. So instead, here are a few photos:

    They always have activities at Pop Kraft, but normally we arrive too late to do them. This month however, we were in time for the cake decorating, and I was lucky enough to be assisted by Miss Dolly Rocket.

    We made a very pretty cake, with icing and little silver ball things that I hope were edible because I ate them.

    Dolly also assisted me with the eating of my cake. She doesn’t go in for any of this ‘small bites’ malarkey, it’s all or nothing with Dolly.

    Boogaloo Stu entertained us with his unique style of performing. The glove/sleeve things this month were a triumph.

    And Dolly and Chris had a nice cuddle. He enjoyed it more than she did.
    The only other thing I did this weekend really was watch Up, the Disney Pixar film that everyone has been raving about. It was really good! Not like the best BEST film in the world, but very entertaining, and some of it was really funny.
    The first bit is really sad, as they cram the lives of two childhood sweethearts from the age of about 8, through marriage and then retirement, into about 5 minutes of film. It’s sad because, well, what do you think happens at the end of a long happy marriage, and look there’s only one of them left in the movie poster –>
    But after that it’s quite a heart-warming tale of an old man’s adventure with a young companion and a talking dog, and a house with lots of balloons attached to it.
    As with any of these Pixar films, one of the best bits is the extra cartoon short you get with it. With Up it was a film called Partly Cloudy, that actually makes you laugh as much in its six short minutes as Up does in the whole film. Not that Up isn’t funny of course, it really is, but Partly Cloudy is brilliant. I really like those short films they do; I still love For The Birds, the short that came with Monsters Inc, that has no human dialogue, but is hugely expressive and lovely to watch.
    So anyway, that was my weekend. I’ve got a quiet week (again) this week, as I’ve pretty much done everything on my to do list, and I’m running out of ways to fill my day. I’ve been learning jQuery for the last little while though (a computer thing for geeks; it’s fun, if you like that sort of thing) so that at least has been a distraction for me.
    Next weekend is Mothers Day – a perfect excuse for my Mum to demand more attention than she does usually. I’m going to my brother’s for a meal for it, which should be alright, and which means I’ll only be out of Brighton for part of Saturday, instead of losing my whole weekend on a trip to London.
    Oo yes, and it’s also Your Country Needs You on Friday night, where we’ll decide on our Eurovision entry for this year, so I’m really looking forward to that. And we’re going out dressed up in Alice In Wonderland outfits next Saturday for a friend’s birthday. I’m going as the Cheshire Cat, in an odd pink and purple stripey outfit, face paint and false ears. I’m not sure where we’re going, hopefully not somewhere where’ll I’ll feel too ridiculous in fancy dress. I hope no one pulls my tail off too. Pictures to follow, if you’re good.

  5. Rush rush rush

    May 20, 2009 by superlative

    I haven’t had much time for blogging since last week, which is unusual for me and now I feel I’ve got behind with it.

    We had our Eurovision party at the weekend, which of course was another triumph. We had scoresheets, miniature flags, posters, and a lovely Eurocake:

    I enjoyed the show, but was a bit disappointed that the winner was Norway. Their song was OK, not great, and the fact that it was the bookies’ favourite and that it was such a complete runaway winner made it a bit boring. After a quarter of the votes were in you could tell no-one was going to catch them. And also, he had weird eyebrows.

    I thought Jade did really well to finish fifth considering how poorly we’ve done in the last few years. She sang very well and was obviously much stronger than lots of the other contestants, so fifth is quite respectable. I didn’t think that the jury voting really made that much difference though, there was still lots of unjustified awarding of 12 points to neighbouring countries by some of the Eastern and Scandinavian nations.

    Sunday was a little bit of a write off, as I had drunk a combination of white wine, rosé wine, champagne, and Moscow Mules (careful Eurovision linkage there) so I had a bit of a headache. And then this week just seems to be flying by with no time to do anything.

    Dave’s wedding is this Saturday, and after a mini-meltdown last week (including the glib fiasco) Mum seems to have plateaued at “there’s nothing I can do about it now, I’ll just have to hope for the best”. Which is better than insane stress attacks I suppose.

    I wish I could look forward to it more, but I won’t be able to relax until Mum and Dad head off home and Chris has arrived safely after his epic two hour bus and taxi journey from Brighton. Just to make things a bit more of a pain, I feel like I’m coming down with something today, which I could obviously do without. I’ve had a sore throat since yesterday and this morning I felt completely run down as soon as I got up. If I’m going to get a virus I’d rather get it now, deal with it on Thursday and Friday, and then hopefully be better on Saturday. I’ll have to see how I go anyway.

    I’ll need to check back to my ‘Days healthy’ counter I started on here after Christmas to see how long I lasted before getting ill AGAIN. I don’t think I did too badly, it must be at least a hundred days!

    My next blog post may very well be after the wedding. Wish me luck!

  6. Six-day weekend

    April 15, 2009 by superlative

    I had a lovely six-day weekend for Easter. Although it seemed like I did a lot of stuff and saw a lot of people, as always now that I’m back at work it feels like it went past too quickly.

    We went up to London on Thursday to visit our families, which was nice enough. It was a bit boring at my parents’ house as usual, but I was only there for one night. Mum is getting increasingly stressed about Dave’s wedding now, but I think I’ll have to save that for a separate blog post (and for when I can be bothered to think about it all. It’s rather draining).

    Then Friday I had a nice meal with Chris’ family, and then another meal with his Dad on Saturday, before we scooted on up to Cambridge for a friend’s 30th birthday party. It was for our friend who moved to Sweden about 18 months ago, he was over with his wife and kiddy to see all his friends for his birthday.

    It was lovely to see them actually, as obviously we don’t see them very often now. I think the last time was their wedding in August. It got me thinking about how we’ve pretty much lost a whole circle of friends since they moved away and since our other friend (from the same group) moved to Cambodia. They were our friends we used to go to the pub with, quite often actually, but now Chris and I hardly ever go to straight pubs because the circle of friends broke up a bit after they went. It’s funny how that happens, but I’m not particularly surprised: they were the people who knew everyone in the group, so it was them that held it together. Once those people leave it’s hard to maintain a relationship with the others you don’t have a direct link with.

    We do have some other new friends now of course, but I used to enjoy those nights in the pub playing silly drinking games.

    So anyway, the 30th birthday party was spent drinking rather too much vodka and dancing by candlelight in his parents’ garage. I felt a bit like a teenager again. It was good fun though.

    And then the last couple of days of my long weekend I spent in Brighton, just loafing about really, and having a long walk up and down Devil’s Dyke (see my rather nice photo in the previous post). I wish I could have been off for a bit longer, as Chris is off all week, but such is life when you are the wife of a teacher.

    Right, I better get on with some work I suppose. Although it would be much more fun to start making the scoresheets for our annual Eurovision party, so maybe I’ll do that instead. Only a month to go now! “It’s myyyyy time, it’s my time….”

  7. Snow day no more

    February 3, 2009 by superlative

    We are back at work today, more’s the pity. Chris, however, has had another day off as his school decided it would be too dangerous still for the children and staff to travel in. So unfair! The university just said “come in, as long as you can do so safely”, which basically meant come in, as I knew the buses had started running up here again.

    So anyway, I’ve been back at work and it has been very dull. Half the staff didn’t come in still for one reason or another, so it has been very quiet, and I haven’t really done much work because I’m resentful that I’m not at home in my pyjamas like Chris.

    When writing about the weekend, I forgot to say that we have now officially chosen our Eurovision song and singer. The singer is a girl called Jade who is from Plaistow I think, near where I grew up in London. She’s quite good, a bit of a dull choice in some ways because she’s not that different to Alexandra who just won X-Factor – a pretty, young, black girl from London with a Beyoncé-esque voice. She can sing really well though, and can obviously dance and perform quite well too, so she was quite a worthy winner.

    The song however is a bit of a disappointment. It’s been written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, and while yes that will give it some international recognition, it sounds like it’s been written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. It is the kind of song you’d expect to hear as part of a musical, not really on Eurovision. It’s called My Time, and it would perfectly fit a character who’s trying to make her way in showbiz and is just about to get her big break. There is also no scope for a dance routine, or even for a very exciting costume for it (or better yet, a costume change). So I’m not sure how well we’ll do now. I think the Euro Juries will like it maybe, but the voting public won’t remember it among the 30-odd other songs. I guess we shall have to see!

  8. Trash TV and yummy dinner

    January 12, 2009 by superlative

    I had a nice weekend featuring large quantities of low-brow television viewing and then a scrummy meal out at Momma Cherri’s last night.

    There seem to be quite a lot of trashy programmes on at the moment, and I’m throwing myself whole-heartedly into them, as there really isn’t much of an alternative. So we watched Total Wipeout, based on the American show Wipeout where enthusiastic contestants run round impossible assault courses, bouncing off things, falling over, and suffering minor injuries; then there was Your Country Needs You, the odd new format for choosing our Eurovision song, but which seems fairly harmless (although Andrew Lloyd Webber is looking increasinly like Emperor Palpatine); and finally Dancing On Ice has returned for another series of graceless ineptitude, tight trousers on the one or two good looking males, and minor to medium-seriousness celebrity wounding. So that was fun anyway.

    Last night we went to Momma Cherri’s and had another yummy meal, we’ve been a few times now. I got my meat fix for the month by having chicken wings, chicken drumsticks, AND barbecue ribs (Chris averted his gaze while I made a big sticky mess of myself), and he had much more sophisticated Vegetarian Combo Platter. It’s always really nice in there, but I’m disappointed we haven’t seen the real Momma Cherri yet. She may be fictional for all I know, like Aunt Bessie.

    That’s all really. Work is very very dull and I’m having trouble filling the days, but that’s nothing new. Oh and Mum and Dad’s Indian Burial Curse has returned – their central heating failed for a day and made a loud clanking noise, only to suddenly rectify itself as soon as an engineer arrived and leave no trace of any problem. So now Mum is feeling radiators in an OCD manner every half hour to see if it’s still working and ringing me up about it when it all gets too much.

  9. Hideous shots and Euromania

    May 27, 2008 by superlative

    I had a very nice bank holiday weekend that felt much longer than the three days it actually was. I’ve also only got a three-day week this week before we are off to Sweden, so hopefully that will fly by!

    On Friday Chris’ cousin Katy and her friend Gemma came to visit us as they wanted a bit of a trip down to Brighton, so they came round in the evening and we had some drinks and went out for a few more drinks and a bit of dancing. I have to say I was quite surprised and dismayed to realise just how much of a difference being 20 makes to how much alcohol you can get away with consuming. Those girls could DRINK. Honestly, I don’t know where they were putting it. I wouldn’t mind, but they were barely hungover in the morning after having drunk enough to put me under for about two days… Still, that’s the price you pay for being 27 I suppose. I did manage to have two shots that arrived in test tubes, which I found very disturbing indeed – you should never being drinking anything from a test tube, not unless you are clinically insane and have an assistant called Igor. I had to politely decline the third and fourth shots which arrived, so Katy had mine for me (again, quite shameful).

    Revenge was alright, and the girls seemed quite amused by the hideousness of the ‘drag’ act they have there on a Friday. They were also very, very smitten with Mr Gay Brighton who was acting as a go-go boy during the cabaret, and spent about 20 minutes chasing him round the club shouting “Mr Gay! Mr Gay!” and trying to chat him up. I tried to point out that it wasn’t his actual name, but that didn’t seem as important to them as the prospect of licking the sweat off his chest.

    Then on Saturday it was our Eurovision Spectacular, which was great! I had made scoresheets and miniature flags, we had a Euro Cake (see below), a sweepstake, loads of cocktails, and lots of people came. It was a bit of a shame that Russia won when clearly it did not deserve to, as evidenced by our scoresheets (which I’ve kept). Iceland, Sweden, Greece, Ukraine and even the bizarre Spanish entry (cuatro: el Robocop) were better than Russia, but alas those countries don’t cut such an imposing figure among the Eastern European states who now seem to make up about 70% of the vote.

    I did derive small comfort from Andy Binface finishing in last place, which I thought was hilarious. He only got points off of San Marino (which is where exactly?) and Ireland (probably out of charity). I am certain (and cannot be proved wrong) that Michelle Gayle would have done much better. Hopefully failing abysmally at Eurovision will spell the end of his career and he can go back to emptying bins and perhaps get crushed in the big metal jaws of a dustcart.

    Chris won the sweepstake AGAIN, which is frankly getting rather suspicious as that’s two years in a row we’ve won our own sweepstake. No-one thought when he drew Russia that he’d win though, and it was fairly close between Greece and Russia right until the end. So I hope no-one thinks we have these parties merely as a scam to extract pound coins from our friends.

    Oh yes, and although I’d been looking forward to having Boogaloo Stu present the BBC Interactive part of the programme, it was actually hideously painful and disappointing so I wish I hadn’t bothered. All his clips were clearly pre-recorded and bore little relation to what was happening on screen, which is such a shame given how witty he normally is. If they’d just let him be live and make comments on people’s hair or bad dancing it would have been much better. I felt quite sorry for him really.

    Anyway, in three days time I’ll be landing in Stockholm and I can’t wait! Lots of hot blond Swedish boys running around in little shorts, what more could you want?

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  10. The rage, the RAGE!

    March 4, 2008 by superlative

    I have been bottling it up for the last two days, but can contain myself no longer. I am absolutely FURIOUS that Michelle Gayle wasn’t selected as our entry for Eurovision this year and instead we’re stuck with an unattractive binman with his trousers up under his nipples like he’s about 60.

    I just can’t understand how it happened! Michelle clearly had the better song, it was dead catchy and it had a dance routine and everything. In fact my friends and I had already agreed we were going to learn the dance routine in time for the final, we were that sure she was going to win.

    And to my delight Andy Knobhead got eliminated, quite rightly, by the judges in the initial rounds. And then in a shocking moment of ill judgment, Terry Wogan reinstated him as the wild card. Never mind, I thought, she’ll still win no problem. It came down to a head to head between the two of them, all the judges said they thought Michelle should win, and then there was a bizarre reality-warping moment where Andy came out the winner! What the hell???

    I wouldn’t mind that much, but consider this as a proposition:
    The Ukranian entry, called Igor or whatever, swans onto stage and they introduce him as a former binman, and then he launches into song, and you think “hang on, this is EXACTLY the same as Madonna – Express Yourself. You can actually sing the lyrics over the top! What did he do, find a CD of it in someone’s bin and think ‘I’ll have that’???”

    Because that’s exactly the same as what we’ve done! His song is a complete rip off, the Europeans are bound to have heard of it, backwards though they are, and they’re going to completely muller us for it.

    So now I’m stuck with trying to find a different country to support this year. Ireland’s out because they’ve chosen a stuffed turkey that looks like a penis to sing their song. So who am I going to support, the French???? Over my dead body!

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