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#BEDM14: What annoys you every day?

27 May 2014 by superlative

The bus.

Oh my god the bus annoys me so much.

People try to say that buses are more environmentally friendly, and are much better than they used to be, and that they’re quicker than sitting in traffic or waiting for a parking space.

NO. Buses are HORRIBLE.

The seats are too close together, so if you’re above average height and you don’t want to sit sideways like a freak then they cause you considerable pain. Buses are dirty too, both in terms of being strewn with litter and abandoned Metros, and because they’re festooned with the germs of all the other people crammed into them, coughing and spluttering and putting their disgusting paws all over the handrails. And not content with being generally diseased, the passengers are frequently obnoxious too – talking too loudly, playing music, eating stinky foods, smoking, and on occasion abusing the people around them.

The temperature on buses seems to be a Russian roulette where it can range from anything from Siberian winter to the seventh layer of hell, with no particular indication before you get on of what it might be.

They’re unreliable – my bus to work takes a very Mediterranean attitude to punctuality – and despite the multi-million pound bus lanes the Green party has spaffed all over Brighton, it can still take me 40 minutes to travel the three miles to work.

And to cap it all off, they’re not even cheap. Our bus company seems to put its prices up about twice a year, always blaming ‘rising fuel prices’, and the amount of money you’re expected to pay to endure a horrible, slow, traumatising journey is now bordering on ridiculous.

Each day I wake up in a fairly normal mood. Not madly excited to be going to work, but not troubled by it either.

By the time I’ve negotiated my way through the bus journey to work, my blood pressure has doubled, I’ve gained half a dozen new grey hairs, and I’ve considered murdering a broad selection of people, many of them children. It really does me no good at all, and has almost certainly shaved a few years off my life expectancy. They’re just awful, and all buses, bus companies and bus enthusiasts should be burned alive and turned into tarmac so I can drive my big fat car around on top of them.

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