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Speak up, you petty, arrogant wanker

24 May 2013 by superlative

Blog every day in May topic – Your top three worst traits

1) Shyness

I’ve already covered this in some of my other May posts, but I am quiet and I am shy. It’s worse in certain situations, and I’m less shy than a lot of people, but it still has a negative effect on the way I interact with people sometimes. I wish I could change it, and I have improved over time I think, but really it’s just me and I’m just stuck with it.  It’s quite annoying though.

2) Pettiness

I am a very, very petty, small little man sometimes. I bear a grudge like nobody’s business, and I exact revenge on people I don’t like in a number of tiny, pointless little ways. I once put olive oil in someone’s honey at university. I also threw a banana belonging to that person out onto a flat roof. Not while they were around, of course, but behind their back – I’m not mental.

If I don’t like someone at work, I might glare at their empty chair as I walk past it.

If someone is moving too slowly down the street, I do that spaz face where you stick your tongue down behind your lower lip at the back of their head.

It’s always pathetic little expressions of my disgust that the person won’t ever know about. Well, she might have noticed the honey tasted weird. But I don’t in fact want to change this about myself – I get a tiny, petty thrill out of these stupid wastes of my time.

3) Arrogance

I’m quite clever. I’ve always been more intelligent than most of my peers, and I like it. I tend therefore to think that I’m right practically all the time, and it sticks in my craw if someone points out that I’m wrong about something. I realise that it’s arrogant to assume that you know more than someone else, but to be honest I usually do. So what am I meant to do? Let them prattle on wrongly, using up valuable seconds of my life with their wrongness? I don’t think that’s reasonable.

So I don’t mind that I’m arrogant really. I hide it fairly well most of the time, and being quiet masks some of it, so I don’t think I have a poor reputation for arrogance. But it does mean that I have to expect to get violently bumped onto my arse every so often when someone swans along knowing more about a topic than I do. The know-it-all bastards.


1 Comment »

  1. Urban Cynic says:

    Haha! I’m with you on the last 2. I can be really petty as well. Petty and vindictive, 2 underrated words in my opinion. But most people are quite annoying and usually deserve a smack in the back of the head rather than a face being pulled behind it – especially in this town of slow walkers.

    I also agree that if you’re just smarter than most people it’s ok to feel arrogant about it. Well maybe arrogant isn’t the right word – perhaps superior more accurately sums up how you should feel Simon. It’s how I feel most of the time and rightly so.

    Earlier I was looking at the profiles of people on some Brighton social site to decide if I should join and 3 out of the first 5 couldn’t spell. One had written that he was a Yuppy (2 reasons to despise him) and another lived on the boarder of b&H. I felt superior to both and at the same time I quietly despised them.

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