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Grandad update – no I’m not going

3 February 2011 by superlative

I spoke to my Mum again last night, and I won’t be going up to stay with my Grandad because it isn’t really what he needs.

He did see the doctor yesterday (who again didn’t bother to examine him), and apparently the base of his spine is disintegrating. That sounds awful! So no wonder he’s in pain. But the doctor seemed to think it was just one of those things that happens to some people as they get older, and there’s nothing they can do about it really apart from relieve the pain. And he said Grandad hadn’t been taking enough of the morphine he’s supposed to be taking (because he doesn’t like taking it), which is why it wasn’t working.

So anyway, I did say to Mum that I could offer to go up there, but she said that was kind but there’s no point really. Having someone there full-time for a week isn’t what he needs, he won’t be better after that time, and I wouldn’t have anything to do for most of the day. Ideally what he needs is someone to pop in regularly and do his shopping and a bit of cleaning, that sort of thing, but not to be there all the time.

I know you can get home help type care for that, but the doctor didn’t suggest referring him to social services for it, and my Mum suspects he’ll have so much in savings in the bank (he’s not rich, but he has some) that he would have to pay for it, in which case he wouldn’t be prepared to do it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen really, but at least I offered, and my Mum’s cousin Jean is going to go back over there on Friday and check on him again.

I hope I never get old.

We’ve got a flat viewing tonight in Brunswick Square. I hope it’s nice. I know it won’t be.

1 Comment »

  1. Helen says:

    As I have learned from my family, you cannot help those who won’t help themselves. If he won’t take the right medication and doesn’t want home help then you can’t do anything (except deal with the frustration, guilt and anxiety). When I get old I’m going to swallow my dignity, ask for and then accept every bit of help I can get because then less is on my family.
    I really sympathise with your dilemma. My dad has a crumbling spine and acute pain that doctors have atributed to arthritis and he refuses to get help which just means it’s all on mum and us. And he’s 64 so years of this kind of shit ahead.
    Anyway, having made that all about me, I’ll stop and wish you luck for the viewing!

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